Over the years I’ve had my fair share of heartbreaks. Whether it be family, friends, romantic partners, or people who hardly know me who have somehow managed to hurt me one way or another, let’s just say I’ve experienced a great deal of pain in my 27 years of life. To some that may sound drastic, but to me personally, too much pain for one person to handle. But then, I think about others in the world who have been hurt much more than I have in some unimaginable ways, and I realize that what I’ve gone through and experienced is minuscule in comparison. Yet and still, that doesn’t invalidate the heartbreak and pain I’ve endured.
Tati Westbrook, a YouTube Beauty Guru famous for her makeup tutorials and product reviews, once said something that has stuck with me since. She said, “For me, I always like to say that just because the person next to you is in a full body cast doesn’t mean your broken arm doesn’t hurt. Pain is pain.”
That statement couldn’t be closer to the truth in my eyes. My experiences are my experiences, and no one, not even myself, should question or doubt what I’ve gone through because my feelings are valid. Like Tati said, “pain is pain.”
For those of who don’t know me personally, I’m someone who has always worn my heart on my sleeves. I’m someone who can love anyone. I’m someone who can be friends with anyone. I mean that quite frankly, too. My dad once told me when I was in high school, in so many words, that he admires that I’m able to be friends with anyone and not judge them, even when other people do. That is also something that has remained with me and will forever because it couldn’t be truer about my character and the person I am. My heart has always been open to people of all kind—no matter what they have or don’t have, no matter what they look like, or where they come from.
Believe it or not, there were times when I thought that was my weakness, being so quick to love and open myself up to people. But—I’ve learned, even through all the heartbreak and pain, that those qualities make me who I am—a beautiful person inside, out with an amazing ability to love (an ability a lot of people don’t have; our world is filled with so much hatred).
Something I’ve learned about myself over the years is no matter what I go through, I will always love hard and freely. It’s just who I am. For the longest time, I hated that about myself. Whenever I was hurt by someone, I would question: “Why do you do this to yourself? Why do you choose to love so hard? Why is it so easy for you to allow people to hurt you?” I would blame myself for the way people would treat me. I don’t really know why. I guess it made the pain easier to manage, having somewhere to place the blame.
Today, I’m learning to embrace my emotional scars and my ability to love and love hard. Reason being is because I know that one day God will bless me with an amazing tribe of people—the people meant to be in my life and a part of my journey forever. I’ve been praying about it for so long, and I know that one day, whenever I’m ready, God will answer my prayers. And when that time comes, I know that I have to be ready for it; I can’t be bitter and still holding on to past and present circumstances that don’t serve me spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. I have to let go of what was, what could’ve been, heal, and prepare myself for a future that doesn’t involve so much heartbreak and pain.
I look forward to a bright future~~
Anyone out there going through heartbreak of any kind, I hope you found some encouragement in this. I hope you too will continue to be the amazing person that you are and continue to love and be kind despite all the ugliness. Your blessings are right around the corner. Keep dancing!
Before I go, I want to quickly say that while writing this blog post, I kept replaying one of my all-time favorite songs ever— “I Hope You Dance” by Lee Ann Womack (which is what my “keep dancing” line was inspired by). Such a beautiful song that I’ve loved for years. I first heard it in Tyler Perry’s A Family That Preys. I encourage you all to go listen to it if you haven’t already heard it. I think the song complements today’s post well.
Here’s a snippet of the lyrics:
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you’ll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
I hope you dance… I hope you dance…